March 16, 2017
May repost, share, quote without permission
My name is Brenda Alexander and I want to share with you why I am such a strong advocate for choosing life over abortion. First, and I realize your first thought will be that it's for "religious" reasons. While to a degree, that has something to do with it but there is just so much more to it than that. Second, I worked in the medical field as well as the legal system for much of my life and I'm knowledgeable about things your local Planned Parenthood is not going to tell you. Third, I myself made the choice to abort my unborn child. I realize that I'm risking loss of my Christian friends, opening myself to self-righteous judgment and maybe even loss of my reputation. However, what I cannot be accused of is hypocrisy.
After the birth of my 4th child, we used birth control, of course, but it failed. We could not afford the baby. My child was about 4 months old, I was breast-feeding so my means of b/c were a bit limited and while she grew up eventually, she was a very difficult "baby" and literally demanded my attention 24/7. She wouldn't sleep in a crib (and we tried for months) but pure exhaustion won. I felt trapped. No money, I'd have to stop breast-feeding and she would not take a bottle (another failed attempt because she went for 2 days without eating unless I fed her. I felt I'd go insane if I had another baby and my husband didn't help matters and family support? I have never had that in my life unless I do what they demand. I considered adoption and wanted to go that route but, for many reasons I now deeply regret (and regretted immediately), I chose to have an abortion. I have always been a believer and pro-life so I went against my own standards. I bought the deception and outright lies but being pro-life is not limited to just Christians or other religions. Many nonbelievers are pro-life as well. It's not unique to any group as I have Christian friends who are pro-choice.
When I went to the doctor to have this "procedure called a D&C," I changed my mind. The doctor told me it was too late only to find out he lied. It was not too late but in my ignorance, I believed him. I blamed him, my husband, my family and my baby daughter for years. The truth is, the choice was on my head. I take full responsibility for MY choice. I'd love to find a way to justify what I did, to make it someone else's fault but if you're honest with yourself, you will one day have to face the consequences of every choice you make, be it bad or good. Ye do reap what ye sow. In fact, I was so trying to blame everyone for my mistake that for a very long time, I had such hate, anger and resentment to my family and friends who fully supported and even helped "convince me" I was doing the right thing. The fact is, it was NOT the right choice for me.
Abortions medically are not as safe as doctors make it seem. Many women have died, had their uterine wall punctured, lost fertility, some even the ability to eat and must be fed by TPN (total parental nutrition) for life. Also, many times abortions are not complete and you get very sick with sepsis (a life-threatening infection of the blood) days or weeks afterwards. While the risks for the first abortion is fairly low on some of the issues (like future furtility and uterine rupture), the others depend mainly on the competency of the doctor doing the procedure. Abortion mills, like Planned Parenthood, are sloppy. They do so many without complications that they get overly confident and that makes them dangerous. They become uncaring and lazy. Sterilization of the instruments in these mills are sorely lacking because it's a money game...get them in and out ASAP so we can do another one. However, each subsequent abortion you have, the risks of something going seriously wrong increases by about 30 to 50 percent each time. So, if you choose multiple abortions, do not ever, ever lie and say it's your first time because even the sloppy doctors will take the best route possible if for no reason other than not to be sued. Jesus Christ warned us that the world would make merchandise of us one day AND money is the root of all evils. Ever heard the slogan "follow the money, honey?" It's very true in doctors who primarily perform abortions.
I saw on the news the other day about a woman who previously worked at PP for 8 years and she said it's illegal to "sell" aborted fetuses BUT if you charge whatever you want for "shipping and handling," then that's NOT illegal. It depends on the wording. Another lab said that 50 livers per week would make her lab "happy" from aborted children. Your child is being sold like merchandise and God only knows what they are really using them for. I do know back in the 80s that they were used for experiments. I don't know the graphic details in full but trust me on this, you really don't want to know. I wish I didn't.
Do I want abortions to become illegal? Oh, in my heart of course but is it the RIGHT way to end abortions? I would love it if we lived in a perfect world where if they became illegal (except in extremely rare cases where the mother's life IS at risk because the Bible actually speaks that the mother's life is first) but we don't. Abortions would happen and it would cause way more death, disease, and other problems. They would be so unsafe and just anybody on the street could perform one with just a little research. I believe the answer lies in education, teaching why using a condom is of the utmost importance today to keep yourself safe from some horrible diseases. You could be on 3 different forms of B/C but self-control or condoms are a MUST. Keep yourself safe. Oh, and another bad idea is to intentionally get pregnant in hopes of a happy forever after ending, to get out of the house, or you really want to get married to the love of your life right now. It may work for a month or two but you won't get the happy ending, wonderful marriage fairy tale. In today's world, keeping yourself a virgin until marriage is a GOOD thing, albeit not very realistic. This isn't about preaching virtue, it's why I fear and pray for you facing (or who have made this choice) get some help and alternatives. Adoption, even in the case of rape, can be healing. It's not going to matter which decision you make because that event is going to be life-altering for the rest of your life. I've read accounts where having the baby, regardless of keeping it or putting them up for adoption is actually very healing. Most said that even though it was like a constant reminder of the rape, incest, etc., the knowing that they were giving a family what they desired so much and probably have been praying for, the miracle of having a child. Adoptive parents see that child as their own. Not a bit of difference and you can choose the family and choose for yourself how much, if any, involvement you want in the child's life. I'd say about 98% of adoptive parents will want you to be involved IF it's right for you. They WILL respect your wishes but before promising them your child, make sure you'll follow through. If you want to wait until the birth, you have time.
Go to preborn.org and they give you real-time help, counseling, care and resources depending on your choice of keeping your baby or adoption. The Church has failed you in this and I am sorry. It is not an unforgivable sin. If one day, or even now, you're a believer, you can or have been forgiven. The Apostle Paul promises us in Romans 8:28 that ALL things work to the good, for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purposes. We made or may make a bad choice but we're not perfect, we are just forgiven.
I'll end with this, if the lack of a heartbeat determines death, then shouldn't the sound of a heart beating determine that there is life? If you need to talk, contact me at WorthyistheLamb737@yahoo.com. I have more to say about how badly my decision affected my life but Jesus Christ healed me years later. I am here if you need help regardles of belief, color, etc. I know your pain well. God bless and as much as I love and care for you, God loves you so much more excellent. ALL lives matter!
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