I'm not very happy tonight in one way but in another, I'm on top of the world. God is so good and to those He loves, He chastens. I LOVE it when He corrects me. If I weren't saved, He wouldn't stop me.
Let me try to explain. I fell in love with today's CCM (Contemporary Christian Music). Oh, how I loved Hillsong's "I Surrender," and Chris Tomlin's "Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone)!" I even learned to almost sign I Surrender in sign language. I felt so awesome whenever I heard it and I wanted to go to Chris Tomlin's concert so bad but couldn't for financial reasons. I was so disappointed. I felt almost like I was Spiritually "high" when I heard some (not all) of these songs. Listen to the lyrics and the beat. Listen to the repetitious words and at times, it doesn't sound the same. And I've been one of these new CCM artists for years. It's a style or fad, nothing more. So was a hula hoop, you don't wear them to honor God!
Approximately a year ago, my husband and I got into an argument and he made fun of me signing and I stopped when he was home. However, at around the same time, I stopped wanting to. I'd listen to a few songs but I'd go listen to Dallas Holm or the older but pure golden hymns of worship and praise. I didn't feel "high" or what the Pentacostals told me was the Holy Spirit moving in me, but I felt so good. I knew the words and I felt "right" about it but honestly, I didn't ever feel "right" about the others. I loved them but I started listening to them and at times wondered who the song was originally written for. I wanted to blame it on David because I was afraid I was losing my love for Jesus Christ and worshiping Him in music. We can talk ourselves into anything to justify sins or doing things things that may not be "sin" but not worshiping Him rightfully. Maybe God used that argument to tell me some areas where I may not be glorifying and honoring Him.
Not to go on a rant here about the UPC but even as a teen, a wild child (but oh so tame by today's standards), I truly believed that you were to enter into His House of Worship with respect, humility, dignity and grace. Falling on the floor, yelling out unintelligible words, convulsing, barking/howling like dogs, laughing hysterically just doesn't feel right to me and I'm not talking about my petty emotional feelings but by what the Word of God says. Do I believe the Holy Spirit can bring you to your knees? Without a doubt. He's done it to me but it was gentle and I knew I was going down by Him, not of myself or because someone pushed me. Also, please tell me the book/chapter and verse where the Bible is clear and tells us to speak in a "secret prayer language." I've read the Bible completely twice and the NT too many times to count and I do not remember reading anything close to that in my Bibles. Did mine leave them off? What is it? Is it speaking in tongues? I can't. I don't have that gift but if I want to talk unintelligibly and claim it's tongues, I can do that but I won't pretend I have an ability given to me by God when I don't.
I've been asked by many Pentacostal women do I think they're more Spirit-filled (or Spiritual); more mature in the Word; have more of this, better at that, more fruits of the Spirit, etc. than some others in the Church. We are ONE BODY and when one succeeds, we all do and if there's a problem in the Body, we ALL suffer. None is greater or less than another. God tells you that many times. "God is not a respecter of persons." "The greatest shall be the least and the least shall be the greatest." What about Romans 13? You can talk in tongues, heal, prophecy, discern all manners of spirits, cast out demons, have all wisdom and if you do not LOVE, you're nothing but a bunch of useless noise.
Spiritual abuse is very real and are we not told that boasters, the haughy, proud, braggarts, gossips, etc. will not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven? Do you know what one UPC woman did to me? My beloved grandmother who I feel led me to love Jesus Cross and the Cross but also was my port in the storm on earth. Without her, I'm not sure where I'd be, especially in the Body of Christ. I attended at first to be near her but I chose to go to be close to Jesus Christ. We didn't believe in speaking in tongues. I questioned this doctrine because it's new, just began around 1904-6 so I asked if that was a requirement for salvation, what was going to happen to the ones who weren't taught this. I mentioned my grandmother and that woman told me she was going to hell. No hope. I didn't believe it then and said well, I guess that's 5,000 centuries of true Christians going to hell. I never went back. How cruel. My gramma was THE epitome of a Christian.
Next, even though I'd been badly physically abused, if I went anywhere, dozens of women encircled me and put their hands all over me. I can't handle that and I felt scared, confused and threatened. I was expected to fall down and did not because I don't want to fall. God has never hurt me and this being "slain in the Spirit" seems pretty dangerous to me. Is this the new and true Church? I don't think so. God changes not.
Please, for yours and others safety, don't lay your hands on people without their permission. I don't recall Jesus doing that but He did on those who asked. Let's all do what we should and in all things, follow Jesus Christ, pick up your cross and die to yourself everyday. Pray for everyone, love everyone and love God beyond measure. Grow in grace! Be careful what you hear and see. It DOES matter!
GOD BLESS, BE SPIRIT-FILLED, LOVE MUCH AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IN CHRIST JESUS, OUR GOD AND SAVIOR!
First Corinthians 15:1-11
