POLITICS AND KITTENS
Al Gore is out jogging one morning, notices a little boy on the corner with a box. Curious he runs over to the child and says, "What's in the box kid?"
The little boy says, "Kittens, they're brand new kittens."
Al Gore laughs and says, "What kind of kittens are they?"
"Democrats," the child says. "Oh that's cute," Al Gore says and he runs off.
A couple of days later Al Gore is running with his buddy Bill Clinton and he spies the same boy with his box just ahead.
Al Gore says to Bill, "You gotta check this out" and they both jog over to the boy with the box.
Al Gore says, "Look in the box Bill, isn't that cute? Look at those little kittens. Hey kid tell my friend Bill what kind of kittens they are."
The boy replies, "They're Republicans."
"Whoa!" Al Gore says, "I came by here the other day and you said they were Democrats. What's up?"
"Well," the kid says, "Their eyes are open now."
Bill Clinton Meets the Pope
During his visit to the United States the Pope met with President Clinton. Instead of just an hour as scheduled, the meeting went on for two days. Finally, a weary President Clinton emerged to face the waiting news media. The President was smiling and announced the summit was a resounding success. He said he and the Pope agreed on 80% of the matters they discussed. Then Mr. Clinton declared he was going home to the White House to be with his family.
A few minutes later the Pope came out to make his statement. He looked tired, discouraged and was practically in tears. Sadly he announced his meeting with the President was a failure. Incredulous, one reporter asked, "But your Holiness, President Clinton just announced the summit was a great success and the two of you agreed on 80% of the items discussed".
Exasperated, the Pope answered, "Yes, but we were talking about the Ten Commandments."
The Right Answer
Given that Al Gore has no job, he decided to take a sightseeing Vacation to Europe. While visiting Europe, he is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is tosurround herself with intelligent people.
He asks how she knows if they're intelligent.
"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."
Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?
Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am."
"Correct. Thank you and goodbye, sir," says the Queen.
She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Gore?"
"Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"
Upon returning home, he decides he'd better put some of his old Friends to the test.
He calls Bill Clinton and says, "Hi, Bill, I wonder if You can answer a question for me."
"Why, of course, Al. What's on your mind?"
"Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"
Clinton hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and Get back to you?" Gore agrees and Clinton hangs up.
Clinton immediately calls members of his old staff, and they puzzle Over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer.
Finally, in desperation, Clinton calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem. "Now look here, your mother has a child, And your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister.
Who is it?" Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course, you idiot."
Much relieved, Clinton rushes back to call Gore and exclaims. "I Know the answer Al! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!!
And Gore replies in disgust, "Wrong, it's Tony Blair."
LETTER TO HEAVEN
A little boy wanted 100 dollars badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the money. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, they decided to send it to the president.
The president was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little bo a 10 dollar bill. The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the money and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord, which read:
Dear Lord, Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, and as usual, those jerks deducted 90%. Love Tommy!
God Bless You Always
AND
I Pray You Enjoyed the Laughter!
We SURE need it today and PLEASE
PRAY FOR AMERICA!
+ + + AMEN! + + +
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