How many of you have heard that the Bible says this "Spare the rod, spoil the child?" Rod refers to authority/discipline or a thin stick or a switch. It does not mean you are to physically beat your children because if you do, it will provoke them to anger and God does not command you do that. We are not to abuse or neglect our children. We are to love them and all of us parents know that discipline equals love. Otherwise, we wouldn't care what they do. However, it's not what we say, think or feel, it is what God has to say that counts and He says much on this subject. Matthew states that we earthly parents know how to give our kids good gifts then how much better will our Father in Heaven give gifts? What father who loves their child would give them a serpent if they ask for an egg? "Raise a child in the way it should go and he/she will never depart from it." Brenda Alexander (any errors in Scripture are mine as I did not look them up but went on memory. Please feel share to correct my errors as I do not want to share false or deceptive scriptures. Thank you!
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Question: "What does it mean to 'spare the rod, spoil the child'?"
Answer: The phrase “spare the rod, spoil the child” is a modern-day proverb that means if a parent refuses to discipline an unruly child, that child will grow accustomed to getting his own way. He will become, in the common vernacular, a spoiled brat. The saying comes from Proverbs 13:24, “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.” The Lord uses discipline to reveal our sin to us. This is also how parents reveal the truth of our need for a Savior to their children. When a child does not feel the consequence of his sin, he will not understand that sin requires punishment. The Lord provides a way to salvation and forgiveness through Jesus, but that means little to those who do not see their sin.
Furthermore, correction shows us that we are not above reproach and that we are accountable for our actions. Our natural pride blinds us to our need for a Savior, and discipline reveals the truth of our wretchedness (Revelation 3:17). Since salvation is the most important choice the child will ever make, it is imperative that parents are leading him to Christ, and discipline is critical to this process. Proverbs 23:13 says, “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.” In the context of verses 13–14, die means “experience spiritual death in hell.” Children who respect authority and feel sorrow for their sin are much more likely to ask Jesus to forgive them and be saved.
Some people believe in discipline, but not in physical discipline such as spanking. However, the Bible is the final word on what is truth; it is not mere opinion or theory. The word rod indicates a thin stick or switch that can be used to give a small amount of physical pain with no lasting physical injury. A child should never be bruised, injured, or cut by a physical correction. The Bible warns that parents should never abuse the power and authority they have over their children while they are young because it provokes the children to righteous anger (Ephesians 6:4; Colossians 3:21). Physical discipline is always done in love, never as a vent to the parent’s frustration. It is also just one part of discipline and should be used when the child shows defiance to a clear limit, not in the heat of the moment.
God instructs parents to parent their children the way He parents His children. Hebrews 12:5–11 tells us that God disciplines those whom He loves to perfect their righteousness. God only disciplines His own, which proves that Christians are His beloved children. Notice that David says that the Lord’s rod comforts him in his time of trouble (Psalm 23:4).
Finally, we know that no discipline feels good while it is happening, but afterwards the rewards are rich (Hebrews 12:11). Godly character, fruit of the Spirit, and peace are rewards of God’s discipline. The same is true for our human children. Children who have learned how to take responsibility for their actions are much happier people (Proverbs 3:11–18). The importance of the rod of correction is that it steers the heart of a child toward Jesus and the forgiveness of sin He offers. When parents trust God’s methods over their own, they will see the blessings for their children and themselves.
Recommended Resource: Parenting Is Heart Work by Dr. Scott Turansky & Joanne Miller
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