I need to do a few things and respectfully ask you read this as I'm sticking to facts and keeping it straight and to the point. Since Nov/Dec I have been struggling with an addiction to narcotic pain meds, legally bought always and medically necessary but when one doesn't work and you're in pain, it's easy to say "I'll take one more THIS time." Before you realize it, you've gone from 1-2 per day to 6-10. It's not your lack of willpower or your fault UNLESS you do it for the "high." I found they not only took away physical pain but also some very deep emotional scars and although I wasn't high or stoned, it did effect the pleasure centers of my brain and I was happier, for a while. I'd run out early and then physical w/d would set in. I tried to taper off but honestly, I didn't want to bad enough even though taking them was causing me far more problems than the short-term "bottled" happiness. I finally had enough and found a doctor who is going to help me but I willfully went ahead and completely detoxed and I now plan on only taking them IF I need them after trying other safer and non-addictive alternatives. So, if you want to know why I have been very absent from my groups and my blog, I don't know what to say other than this has been a very long battle.
I asked myself a simple question, if I was in pain, physical or emotional, and the pills and my Bible was in front of me, which one would I pick up first. I can lie to you and myself but I cannot lie to God. I had to admit I'd go for the pills first. I knew I had a problem. I finally got a good doctor that is going to work with me to slowly taper me off but it's my prayer now that I've detoxed that by His grace and my faith in Him that now that the physical is over, I can find better ways to be happy. Why did it take God so long? Because He had to bring me to a place where I would make the right choice. He knows us so well. I've been through w/d before and never felt Him and really felt forsaken but not this time and it was, in retrospect, nothing to it. It never got bad and I felt Him with me even if I couldn't get online or read my Bible. But, I plan on being more active but not as active as I was because I'd made myself a hermit. Today, I LIVED my faith, not just spoke it. I'm going out into the world and show them what a true follower of Christ Jesus looks and acts like it.
I've also started a new blog but I've yet to make a post to help other Christians who suffer from addictions and want help, support and encouragement. ANYONE WHO CONTACTS ME, I WILL NEVER GIVE OUT INFORMATION WITH OR WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION UNLESS IT IS ABUSE BE IT PHYSICAL AND ESPECIALLY SEXUAL ABUSE OF MAN, WOMAN AND CHILDREN. In fact, those are NOT welcome on my blog. Everyone, believer or not, IS welcome. I'll be sharing this new blog 2-3 times per week. Do NOT be ashamed or fear judgment. I don't even need your real name. Trolls are also unwelcome.
"BE OF GOOD CHEER FOR I HAVE OVERCOME THE WORLD." Said by Christ Jesus
Christian Based Addiction Support
God bless, much love and LOVE MUCH in Christ Jesus!
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