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A Christian Barber...
There was a barber that thought that he should share his faith with his customers more than he had been doing lately. So the next morning when the sun came up and the barber got up out of bed he said, "Today I am going to witness to the first man that walks through my door."
The barber said, "Sure, just sit in the seat and I'll be with you in a moment." The barber went in the back and prayed a quick desperate prayer saying, "God, the first customer came in and I'm going to witness to him. So give me the wisdom to know just the right thing to say to him. Amen."
Then quickly the barber came out with his razor knife in one hand and a Bible in the other while saying "Good morning sir. I have a question for you... Are you ready to die?"
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If a student wrote the Bible...
Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter.
The Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning--cold.
The Ten Commandments would actually be only five--double-spaced and written in a large font.
New edition would be published every two years in order to limit reselling.
Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn't cafeteria food.
Paul's letter to the Romans would become Paul's email to abuse@romans.gov.
Reason Cain killed Abel: they were roommates.
Reason why Moses and followers walked in the desert for 40 years: they didn't want to ask directions and look like freshmen.
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Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother. The first said: "I built a big house for our mother."
The second said: "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."
The third said: "You remember how our mother enjoys reading the Bible. Now she can't see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot recites it."
Soon thereafter, their mother sent out her letters of thanks.
"Milton," she said, "the house you built is so huge. I live only in one room, but I have to clean the whole house.
"Gerald," she said, "I am too old to travel. I stay most of the time at home so I rarely use the Mercedes. And that driver is so rude! He's a pain!"
"But Donald," she said, "the little chicken you sent was delicious!"
Laughter is one of my favorite gifts from God. We can laugh at ourselves because Jesus Christ LOVES to watch us play and laugh...no matter how old we are.
But He loves us so much that He died for us. He was buried and rose again on the
third day. He ascended into Heaven. By His blood and grace we are saved.
The free gift is simple, easy, free and for all. Just believe what I said as it is written in...
- - - - - First Corinthians 15:1-4 - - - - -
John 3:16-17
Ephesians 2:8-9
Amen!
Accept His free gift today!
GOD BLESS YOU ALL
AND
MUCH LOVE IN CHRIST JESUS!
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