MY STRUGGLES AND OFFER OF SUPPORT

I know this is long but it may be a huge help and/or relief to you. Not for my sake but for yours, I pray you read this in full. If you are going through what I've been going through, there is hope. This is my testimony (sort of) as well as hope. Please take 5 minutes to read and share cos you never know who will need this information.
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I am so happy to be back, Spirit-filled and ready to share my faith. I literally feel as I've been released from prison. For 4 years I have been...by circumstances and not choice or illness...been stuck in my house 24/7 except for maybe 3-4 days a month for a few hours. We had no money to go anywhere and there's nowhere we really want to go since we don't like movies, going to clubs and things like that. We do enjoy target shooting and playing pool but there's no real decent places to play pool. BTW, I love the game but am absolutely horrible at it and don't care! I also enjoy bowling. I'm not competitive but I just enjoy the game. We were given a financial blessing and we know financial freedom for the first time in 30 years. We have everything we want and need (although it's very little as we are not into wanting lots of money) but the best thing is, I can now give back. I can help others a little instead of the helpee. I've found a church my husband WANTS to attend and they have stained glass classes that provide all the materials and equipment for $40 per quarter. That is so cheap and afterwards, we all meet and have a community meal where we break bread in fellowship. They have all sorts of groups you can join, depending on your needs. The opportunities for community outreach is unbelievable. It's not perfect, of course, and I struggle with the fact that this denomination forces pastors to perform gay marriages but the nice woman who thought I was homeless (funny story) said it hadn't ever happened and was highly unlikely that it would. She cringed and said she was always afraid to answer that question because of how some people react and/or OVER-react. I didn't state my opinion but I did tell her I had a gay daughter. The fact is, all of the churches within my area allow them so it's either I just let God handle it and go to serve my Father, the Son and Holy Spirit and therefore serving my fellow man and my brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus. Boy did I use the word "and" a whole lot in that sentence, lol.

My other issue, and one I very well may be wrong about, is it is undoubtedly the whitest church I've ever been to since childhood. I like diversity and people of all races and nationalities in my church. The thing is, I live in a predominately white community. It's a good sized church and was told that very few people showed up last night for the dinner but there were a lot of people there. I'm hoping I'm wrong and will find out Sunday. It's not a deal breaker. It's like I am in a room where there's 50 doors and 100 windows and I can walk through (or climb out of) any of them to serve my Father in Heaven.

I was living under so much depression, fear, and guilt that there were days I couldn't even participate in my communities for weeks or months because I felt empty and filled with dread. I felt like a hypocrite. I was so jealous at the joy and peace I felt in you guys and I wanted a LIFE outside these walls. I could have went to this church 6 months ago when I first saw it because I knew that this was the ONLY denomination that my dear husband David would agree to attend on a regular basis. The Pentacostal church terrified him and since he was raised Episcopalian (extremely formal and orderly) and today I'm more leaning Baptist but raised Presbyterian, I knew if I could get him to go one time, he'd go back. They've got the right Gospel, the right Jesus Christ and are not works salvation but we do believe in this...

Father, Son and Holy Spirit
The Apostle's Creed** (see explanation)
Grace alone; faith alone; Christ alone
Repentance and belief is necessary for salvation
The infallibility of the Bible
Sola Scriptura

They are definitely more liberal than I am but conservative enough that they demand reverence and modesty in all things. While there's no dress code, Sunday 11:00 services you are to dress more formally than at the 8:30 one. You can wear a bathing suit (not really but you get what I mean) at that one but 11:00 services are more traditional. I love that. I rarely get to dress up and I'm excited about it. Gives me a good excuse to go buy me a few skirts and dresses, lol. It's not a mega wealthy church but it's rich as I believe they are more than Creasters. There were people from 2 years old to 80 years old (approx) there so it's so hopeful to see young families raising their children in the faith.

I also doubt anyone is gonna really read this but I hope you do. Why? Cos if you're struggling with addictions, depression, loneliness, feeling worthless, hopeless/helpless, don't have a family and/or friends I am begging you to get in touch with me. My email address is WorthyistheLamb737@yahoo.com. PLEASE put something in the subject line like "I read your post on Google and..." so I will know it's not spam and will open that immediately. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and it is NOT a train...it's Jesus Christ. No matter if you believe me or not, you have me already. All you have to do is ask. I am starting a "ministry" not as a pastor but more of a gathering of people who just have issues. I welcome anyone regardless and especially want others to join my blog who have struggled with and overcame these issues. I will share the blog/community as soon as I make it tonight and am going to send out invites to all my communities along with this post and all my contact info will be there. It is going to be called "Bread and Water" but I have yet to decide what will come next. I don't feel right calling it a "ministry" because I am no pastor but feel I have some teaching and leadership qualities but I need help. I'll send out with the invite what it is, etc. and one rule, if you join, I expect real participation. It will not be a passive page where we share nice pictures of Scripture, etc. I want those who are willing to actually interact with one another to encourage, help and build up the Body of Christ. Leave all holier-than thou and self-righteousness at the door.

I no longer feel jealous of anyone. I didn't know one minute of the joy and peace so many Christians feel and I felt unworthy, that this was my lot in life. For whatever reason, this is how God wanted me to be for "as we know, ALL things work to the good, to those who love the Lord and are called according to His purposes." I thought maybe all I could ever do was this. When He started working to bring me out of addiction to my necessary pain meds to a very reasonable dosage, it was hard. Drugs when abused or misused will cause you pain and problems in areas you never would think of IF you're a Christian. This is important cos if you're not a Christian, you don't care about the guilt and conviction. You don't care or even think of the sin you're committing. It's not about taking the pills, it's about how you put them first, lie, manipulate, steal, the list is endless. You hurt so many people and I've done it both ways, once as a professing Christian but not living for Him and now living for Him and Jesus is the ONLY real hope you have.

I know this is long but I hope someone reads it and feel free to share it. Copy and paste to anyone on any social media forum. Even if you're a nonbeliever, I do not care. This can lead to salvation! No one will be turned away. I'm not cured and I struggle but the depression is gone and I feel so much LOVE, COMPASSION, GRACE, JOY, PATIENCE, A HEART THAT WANTS TO HELP AND GIVE EVERYTHING I OWN, AND MY LOVE FOR YOU AND FOR OUR FATHER AND CHRIST JESUS PLUS MY FAITH HAS EXPLODED! It won't happen overnight and you want be happy every minute. Life is hard but if I can have this peace and joy, anyone can and I want it for you more than I want it for me and I give Him ALL the glory. Thanks to all who read this. God bless and I truly love you as my friend and my brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus. You all are in my prayers!

* I'm not sure of how the Apostle's Creed goes anymore but it has one line in it that caused me to refuse to state it which was part of worship service in the church I was raised. The line is something like "I believe in the Apostolic CATHOLIC church..." and I am not a catholic nor hold to their doctrines. However, in this case it is NOT referring to the Holy Roman Catholic Church. It means "universal." It refers to the common grace and faith that comes with salvation regardless of race or national origin. In other words, it means the Body of Christ is universal in that salvation is for everyone. You can do a search on it and read what it says.