HOW TO MAKE A "CRITCISM SANDWICH"

I see so much hate and evil speech on social media and read that we've lost the majority emotional of empathy,vital to living in a polite society. I feel social media is to blame as much as being politically correct.  I hate to tell you this but since man was created,he's been offended and I guarantee if you're truly living a life for Christ, depending on how much you admit it and show it to the world, you are mocked, called horrible names, made to feel stupid or even doubt your beliefs.  My best advice, stay as far away from politics as possible.  I call it soul-sucking.  Jesus Christ told us to watch and work. I learned this on a job a long time ago and if you were to actually be honest with others, using this formula (of course adjustiing it but maintaining your core Biblical beliefs, you'll find it works well and shows you to be a true Christian and instead of preaching it, you also show them one of the ways a true Christian lives their life for Christ. LIVE WHAT YOU SAY AND SHARE THE GOSPEL OF SALVATION IN FIRST CORINTHIANS 15:1-11.

For ye are saved by grace through faith in Christ Jesus.  It is a gift of God. Not of works lest any man should boast!

Ephesians 2:8-9

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HOW TO MAKE A "CRITICISM SANDWICH"

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I FORGOT TO CHANGE THE NAME OF MY FIRST "TEACHER OF THE BIBLE" that I want to do and while it was meant to be about Gossip, I felt led to write about how to (I HATE this word) "criticize" someone HONESTLY causing as little pain as possible. I used a rather simple problem...buying a dress that really doesn't look good on someone...so using this formula really works well but, of course, must be adjusted to fit the circumstances. It's called a....(see title below) and the biggest key here is HONESTY and making sure you're not being unfairly critical of someone for personal reasons. Most people (yes men, even your wives) really want to know if those pants make her rear-end look fat. Of course you have to use some discernment here and if absolute brutal honesty would hurt way too much (maybe they were a special gift), then maybe you can still be honest but which is worse, intentionally causing pain to another person or finding a way to avoid totally answering it. Wives (and husbands), this is a HUGE warning to you both...if you aren't ready to hear the brutal truth in case it's not what you want to hear, don't ask your significant other. Our spouses should be our friends but they are our #1 earthly priority and it's our jobs as spouses to build and edify each other as our marriage is a pattern of Heaven. Save the hard questions for your girl or male friends. Let's not put them in that position to help us build strong, honest and supportive marriages. I also don't mean this how it sounds BUT, to add some humor, we women get the pleasure of training our hubbies in the "art of the marriage," lol. You'll know it for 100% sure when he totally loves you in what you wear. Men just are not that complicated, lol. To husbands though, make it part of your daily routine to find 2-3 things different each day to let your wife know how much you appreciate her. No, change that to 2-3 week or at least once at the minimum. If you do it 2-3 x day, it starts to sound fake and it loses its importance fast. Buy them a card, a SINGLE flower, one Hershey Kiss. Less is definitely more here.

So, for the sake of your marriage, our greatest covenant to another person on earth as far as other humans are concerned, when you go shopping for new clothes, or are dressing up to go out, invite a trustworthy friend over, tell them you seek ONLY the truth and let your hubby off this very painful hook. Now lingerie, less is definitely more ladies. He'll love anything as long as you're wearing it. It's gift wrapping to him and you and you alone are the TRUE GIFT FROM GOD TO HIM.

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HOW TO MAKE A "CRITICISM SANDWICH"

By: Brenda Alexander
November 26, 2017
My Very First Sermon but...NOT A PASTOR OR PART OF ANY MINISTRY\\

I actually wrote part of this on a political post but felt God laid it on my heart to actually make a mini-sermon about it. However, I am not now nor plan on being a pastor or a Spiritual leader in the role of pastor. I know many will disagree with my POV and that's fine because this is about me and how I feel and how I read and interpret God's Word. I am not one who believes women are meant to be ministers or pastors,I should say, according to the Word of God. However, I've read many articles and Bible verses that aren't as clear to me as the ones I believe, I am quite sure that I am the most unqualified person to say yea or nay on this subject. I can only speak for myself and while I feel called to be part of the ministry as a teacher or group leader (and expect a post later tonight or next week on what I hope to do and need some Spiritual guidance and will accept small donations IF this is God's Will, the most I'll accept ever ina period of one year is $24. That's just $2/month and is for the 12 tribes of Israel and the 12 Apostles. I don't mind anonymous gifts because many don't like to given openly but I will trust you will follow my rules. I'm not going to check up and I do NOT expect a dime. Any $$$ given will go to buying Bibles and food for the homeless. If it's God's Will to provide me with a shelter to help victims of drug addiction and others, I'm quite sure He will provide the funds. His Will WILL be done on earth as it is in Heaven.

So this is a test to see if I'm getting ready Spiritually and maturing enough to undertake this endeavor. I tend to just jump in and do what I think God wants when it may not be. I get disappointed and feel unworthy when I do this when the truth is, it was ME centered, not Christ-centered. It was for my glory and happiness, not His. Your hearts MUST be right or you may succeed but what will you gain? You'll lose far, far more and you could seriously hinder someone from being truly saved. I do not want to stand before my Father in Heaven on Judgment Day and learn someone is eternally separated from Him because of something I did or didn't do. Now, please read this relatively short "sermon" and I'm begging for feedback and although I ask if you criticize it to be kind, PLEASE be honest. I want truth, not my ego bolstered. God bless and positive feedback is welcome too but only if you really mean it.

Oh, I learned this a long time okay about how to effectively critique or give bad news to others when I worked, of all places, in a weight loss center. If you only knew how much I HATE exercise and how lazy I am, you'd understand. Obesity is life-threatening and it's good not to be grossly overweight and I don't mean "gross" in that "oh, stepping in poop is so gross" way. It means over the acceptable limit. No 5'3" small framed woman should ever weigh 200 lbs. It is ONLY because of how dangerous it is physically. I don't care if you weight 500 lbs myself as far as how you look, I do care about your physical health.

So here's how to properly give bad news (for the most part). One, you don't do it in front of anyone else. That's not part of it but I'm adding it. You have to tell someone that the dress they love and want to buy looks awful on them but you can't stand to hurt or disappoint them. Here are the 3 rules...

1. Tell them that the color (or find something very positive to say about the dress) looks gorgeous on them and if they decide to find another style, find one near that shade. If it's the style and not the color, change it but whatever "good" make it HONEST.

2. Here's the hard part but you should have thought of a very nice way to break the bad news without saying "You look like a big, fat cow" even if that's the truth so let's say it is. First, you don't even mention the "F" word. I would say something like this, "that color is so beautiful on you but the style or design doesn't do their beautiful legs, thin waist, hips or curves justice. Go for that color but let's go see if there isn't another style that WOULD really make those awesome areas pop.

3. End it with a very positive comment but, what is MOST important is honesty. People have this uncanny way of knowing when they're being played. If they know their hips are too big and you say they're beautiful, they may appreciate you not hurting them BUT what happens is they don't know when or if they can trust you. So, end it like this, you have a neck like a swan. It's the perfect size and is one of your best features (throw in an I've always wanted a neck (or whatever) like yours.) Let's go find a style that will show it off and let's then go find an inexpensive jewelry store or Wal-Mart to find THE perfect necklace, pin or whatever they prefer, to go with whatever dress or outfit we find.

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Never be afraid to offer suggestions. People, esp. women, want to look nice, especially if you're younger because they tend to be assure of themselves. If they are absolutely determined to buy the dress, let it go. It may be your personal opinion and others may think it looks great. If you know for sure it doesn't look good, go to the salesperson, esp. another female or same sex (but this example is far more fitting for the female of the humans, lol) and quickly explain the situation, what you've said and ask them to help you out. If they agree with your friend, make the decision as it is Biblical that 2 or more MUST agree, ask a total stranger. Stress honesty. Whatever that 3rd person agrees with, go with that because it very well may be your opinion and it could be jealousy. This is called a "sandwich criticism." Guess what! It usually works. Make sure your assessment is based on them and not you and your issues and compliment, critique,compliment. IF they are determined to buy it, support them 100% and NEVER EVER SAY "I TOLD YOU SO" TO THEM. Maybe you could help find accessories to enhance it.

This was going to be a mini-sermon on GOSSIP and as it's already writen, I'm going to post that next. Be kind, gracious, merciful, compassionate and honest. In the end, if their heart is with Christ, who cares if they wear a burlap sack? I truly hope I get feedback and not just likes. It took me over an hour to write this and if it's not going to be read, I'd rather find some other way to lead and teach. BTW, this is a test question to see if you read it but do you enjoy my Bible questions and having fun to help us fall in love with the Word of God? If so, please, please write on my timeline with ones of your own. Share clean jokes, recipes, Bible trivia/questions, give tidbits of info, let's share Jesus Christ and the Word of God with the WORLD!