It seems as all I've done for almost 2 months is make excuses. I have been a bad friend, moderator, blog owner, page owner, not a very good supportive friend, etc. It started out with eye strain, then Bible study and just through a series of both good and bad, even though I wanted and tried to get back, God had other plans. I was either sick, spending quality time with my family, reconnecting with my personal friends and family and well, just letting God show Himself to me away from any outside stimulus, even to a point the Bible!
I told you last night or so I met up with an old but awesome friend I never thought I'd hear from and although I mentioned to Him I wish he'd stayed in my life, it NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS occurred to me that I'd ever find him again and 2 days later, in a split second, I'd have missed him. And people say there's no God! I use to feel they get what they deserve and in a weird way, just said they don't HAVE to choose hell but now, I feel so much empathy and sorrow...genuine sorrow...for those who refuse to see. Yes, I get frustrated and really angry with them, not so much if they attack me cos i DO NOT CARE but I see them hurting my brothers and sisters and I get really mad.
But now, I see how much they are missing and it's just their refusal to give God 1 week ... just one week... to show Himself.
So, first of all, I will over say the next week, get back to my routine but right now, my friend and I are really in person (although not in person but the phone) doing Bible studies and just sharing our testimonies, our experiences and the amazing way that 12 years melted and we just picked up where we left off. All because of an evil influence on a mutual acquaintance who lied, was jealous, a user, taker, and someone so self-centered and did some pretty bad things to his children but the amazing thing is, we instantly knew the truth, said let's forgive and forget, and we've been yakking for hours, praising God and it has just been awesome. He was there when I needed him and we were both believers but not living for Him. I had no idea he'd bee saved. All I did was say, "Father, I am so sorry I let John out of my life. I miss him." Two days later, or 3, in 5 minutes he was in my life.
I'm not surprised that he's back in my life (ok, yes I am) but the timing is just something I cannot get past. We serve a God that could grow an Apple tree in my bed tonight. He wont but He could. There is no prayer, want, desire, need that He cannot do but He is not a magician or He does NOT play those kinds of games. However, He loves for us to play with Him. He delights in it so be a child and play cloud games. Dance with your dog and make up hand signs so if you want to worship Him, make a sign. HAVE FUN.
So forgive me and although I planned to come back, God had an amazing and awesome plan that I wouldn't trade. Thanks to the moderators who helped. I haven't forgotten you but I had to go through something personal (not good) but was blessed immensely. You are RICH BEYOND MEASURE. I don't care what your bank account is whether to the good or bad matters not but when you can almost literally see, feel, touch, hear and taste God when no one else can, you will know just how little I own that I'd ever not be willing to talk away from but you, my loved ones, nope. I'd hunt you down, lol. Be patient and I'll get back to bugging you guys relentlessly soon. I never meant to be gone so long and even I realize I sound like I'm making excuses and except for one area where I needed to make sure I needed pain mediation, it was just one blessing after another but pain and some minor discomfort to the point I couldn't emotionally be on social media, it's been life circumstances. I'll do my best.
My best advice...stop looking for an angel, to be transported or falling but being caught in softness at the last second and find the miracle. I see at least one per day ad I urge you to tell me in the best way you can what you saw. Metaphors are good. I also have a gift with dreams and while I may not be right, I do see God in most dreams and will be happy to help BUT I cannot know what is going on. I am not a psychic AT ALL. Either the Holy Spirit speaks BUT never men.
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